September 9, 2014 (tuesday)

Ok so, me and jane were out in the quad talking and drinking boba, my treat. And then LN babe comes because he says hes alone and omfg, I died inside. My insides were going around and around and just damn. I didnt know what to say to him so I just laughed at whatever he said even though they werent funny and kept smiling like an idiot. Omfg. Omfgomfgofmgom. Okay so then riggt after lunch ended he was just behind me standing and I just had a good feeling about that moment. I didnt really do anything and neither did he so it wasnt special but I liked it lol. Today was a great day. Hes probably straight though. Bruhh

August 30, 2014 (saturday)

I had a dream that jerome and I were on the same table. I think it was because he had to ask me physiology questions lol. And then the teacher asked everyone to sit down and he sat down right next to me. It was the best thing ever omfg (even though it was just a dream). And then our forearm’s (antebrachial, physio just sayin) kept touching and we kind of made it a little game with no other purpose than to touch lol. And we just kept having small glances at each other and it was so cute. I felt like I really knew him and shit.

Then I woke up sad because it was all just a dream. And in actuality, I knew nothing about him but his name.

August 29, 2014 (friday)

Babe is on twitter now but I just dont know how to tweet things anymore. I mean I know how to do it but I dont know HOW to do it. That doesnt make sense but it does to me. I wanted to follow him but instead I just deleted my twitter omfg. I thought I was going to get back to being social and stuff but I guess not. Whatever, if things dont work then theyre not meant to be right? But if you dont start things, you wont have a thing in the beginning. Why do I still like him? I have no fucking idea.

Oh and yesterday we had a fire drill I could have talked to him but I didnt so I was just really close to his backpack/bagpack? I wanted to just lean on his backpack, in a friendly (not in a, fuck me hard, type of way) way, you know, like just joking around. Then accidentally touch his dick. Hahaha no.

8 19 14 tuesday

Omfg, so I was looking at my friends instagram and I saw the guy that she liked and so I clicked his username and then I clicked on a picture and then I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA PRESS THE PICTURE ONCE TO SEE WHO WAS TAGGED IN IT AND I PRESSED IT FUCKING TWICE. I FUCKING LIKED THAT SHIT. I DIDNT MEAN TO DO IT. OMFG and I heard he was over her so it just makes everything so scary? I hope no one notices. Lol I dont even use my instagram its just kinda there so I can see other people’s pictures lol especially my babe, matthew, ( lol i like the picture of when he went to hawaii. At the beach. With shorts. And no shirt) who is MOVING FUCKING SCHOOLS LIKE WTF, I STILL WANT TO SEE YOU AND SHIT. YOU ARE THE PERSON I LOOK FOR WHEN I FIRST GET MY CLASSES. That says a lot. Lol.

Oh and I have my other babe, sarah, and shes in my 0 period. Yayy. I didnt expect her to be there but yooo, I just want to hug her and talk about school, and feelings and stupid stuff. Ugh.

Oh and I had to switch out of my class which I had with two babes, jerome and sherina. Ugggh I can look to my left and see jerome and look forward and see sherina. I had the best 7 days in that class. And it was the last day I actually talked to her but then I moved classes omg. I was looking forward to doing group projects loool.

Oh and im starting to like someone else. This one guy Emanuel. Bruuh, he is so cute and quiet. He doesnt talk a lot but I like the way he is pretty calm. I feel like he stares at me but its probably just me being paranoid and shit, I stare at him and daniel, another person omfg, during class a lot. Hopefully i dont get caught. I was gonna talk to him today but he got out of class too fast.

Oh and I want to get help from my math teacher during lunch but my babe sky is there and I dont want him to think im stupid ya feel? I mean Im all for him helping me, he sure can get it like dayuum. But yeah.

I want you to know but its a chance im not willing to take. What if you act more negative about this and then avoid me. But what if you acted positive and would reciprocate those feelings. The second incident is what keeps me going, but the first is what restrains me. There will always be another side of things.

Do you know how happy I am when I see you from 1st to 2nd period? Even though it’s just for 5 seconds, you just make me motivated and happy and I feel so awesome all because I looked at your face. But you would never know that and that’s fine because I dont want you to change who you are. I like you and it’s going to take a lot to try and change my mind. How you’re laugh sounds terrible yet it makes me happy. When you smile, I have to hold my smile back because I dont want you to see me just smile while I’m staring right at you, that would be creepy. Oh and how you’re so smart just makes me want to ask you all the questions of the works and I would be satisfied with any answer you give me. The people I like can make me do things I would never do. I have this thirst with asian people. Ugggh they are so hot omg.